Monday, April 30, 2012

Choosing to Confess?

I doubt my title as I write this I feel more justified than repentant. Is repentance a part of confession or is the choice to confess a sin just our way of saying this is where I am today.

The confession:

I use Ephesians 4:29 quite a bit. 

Ephesians 4:29 (GW)
Don’t say anything that would hurt another person.
Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed.
That way, what you say will help those who hear you.

It was the prayer scripture on Edwards Granddaughter Facebook page today from my surrendered marriage prayer group lessons. I posted today with a confession; sometimes it is hard for me to choose between what is helpful and what is just plain wrong. There is a tiny area of gray between the two that I can sometimes swim in with glee.

The story:
I have a cold with a nasty cough. I made an appointment to see my primary care physician. I love to talk about doctors, right. By now you see a pattern emerge, this is only the second time I have seem this doctor and after the first visit I honestly did not want a second. I had forgotten that you are automatically booked in with your assigned doctor unless you request a change. 

It was not until my appointment that I realized my error. First, I was asked which was bothering me more; the cough or my migraine. Second, I have a cold that would probably resolve it self in a few days but still I was prescribed antibiotics and cough medication to 
"Help it along." 
Dare I say I was a little confused? 

If I am fine why not give it a few days and then if not better come back? 

My first issue is I have a hard time understanding and communicating with this doctor. My second issue, I find my self-wondering is this person is a doctor at all. Writing me a prescription for year's worth of medication on my first visit without asking any questions or checking into my medical history was my initial reason for wanting a change. This time I was left wondering if HMO, longer clinic hours, and perhaps a longer client list is creating a lot of uncaring doctors. Doctors who care about the general well being of their patents are too few.

Now when I voiced my concerns to my hubby, he reminded me of Ephesians 4:29 but I think I was just explaining why I needed to change. 

Ephesians 4:29
Don’t say anything that would hurt another person.
Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed.
That way, what you say will help those who hear you.
The people we live with know us best. I have a huge chip on my shoulder about doctors and yes I tend to be critical of them but should I not have high standards when I am putting my life in their hands. Should I not ask questions and dare I say it be critical in the name of simply staying alive? 

I think I am choosing to be an active participant in my living. I will admit that I should choose to more carefully filter what is being said and why. It is hard to find a nice way to express these thoughts:

  • I would trust a more competent Doctor.
  • You are not the Doctor for me and will be changing providers.
  • Did your medical degree come in a cracker jack box?
  • I need a team building type of relationship with my primary care physician
  • Your are just a drug dealer with a medical license
  • I must be able to clearly communicate with my doctor
  • When all is said is done, my medical history is complex. I need a Primary care doctor whose medical skill I feel I can trust.  
  • I require my doctor to be over twelve. Seriously you should own nothing that is older than your doctor.
It would be nice some times if they just chose to not ask why.

As I work on choosing to add grace to my speech, I would add no actual doctors were harmed in the making of this post. It was just a husband and a wife having a conversation about an area She has to grow in.

Do you struggle with Ephesians 4:29? What would you choose to say?

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