Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Journey Begins with Choice

Today May 9, 2012 is my baby’s birthday. He turned nine today. He woke way too early this morning and I reminded him that although this is his special day, his appearance came at 23:17 tonight. 
Jeremiah 1:5
I remember the day I became his mother. The day I said “I will fight for you!” The day of a miracle when God said, “I have a plan for you.” And I said, “I will!”

You see the day, I became his mother was the day I accepted the possibility that I might be pregnant. I had to decide what I would do. Would I fight for this life? Would I pretend that it was not real? Would I take a leap of faith and trust that God knew?

I almost lost him that day and even after the trip to the emergency room they were no guarantees. Just a game of 'wait and see.'

The first heart beat
The first of many ultrasounds 
The constant looming question: will the baby make it, will I make it. 

And with every step I took, the uncertainty of the out come, I weighted. 

Sometimes we are more faithful in the face of overwhelming odds. I remember thinking God would not grant me a miracle just to take it away and so nurtured my faith.

I do not think I prayed much for him, we did not even have a name, instead I prayed for them. I prayed that God would keep their mother safe.  I prayed that in my pride I was not choosing the life of one above the others. I prayed that I could meet the needs of all.  My boys will never understand the sacrifices of a mother’s love but that was never meant for them. 

The middle said today, “I remember meeting you when I came to the hospital, you were so cute and sleeping.” 

God’s perfect timing:

It seemed so strange to not remember the day your baby brother was born. We all went to the hospital for my now daily stress test and I was told my doctor wanted me to hang around. So we waited. 

They wanted me to consent to being induced. They had explained the risks. How dangerous it was to wait. How I might not survive the delivery. 

Honestly I could not see how pumping me full of drugs would be better for me than to trust in God’s timing. By now my faith had grown. We had made it this far. God expected me to complete this journey of faith.

But, we waited!

At this time my boys had grown accustomed to hanging around the hospital waiting rooms, and we waited. 

Be still and know that I am God!

My doctor, knew me well I supposed, and we waited till he could 'fit me in.'

It was 17:00 hours by then, a quick examine and we would be on our two-hour drive home. 

But, He convinced me to check into labor and delivery. His words, “You are dilated to 3 centimeters, and will probably delivery on the highway.” 

The middle was delivered in less than an hour from the first contraction; we barely made it that time. Hubby was convinced. He wanted us to stay. I guess there is nothing scarier than your wife in labor on the highway and so we stayed.

Providence was still on my side. Labor and delivery could not admit me, yet, but they encouraged us to hang around. 

We took the boys to dinner, visited the mall. I had always heard that walking was good for labor. 

By the time I was check in to the hospital, it was 21:15. 

By the time a doctor came to check on us and see what we wanted to do, I was in labor. 

By 23:17 the hour that God appointed my son graced us with his presence. He was so loud that he woke his two big brothers who were sleeping in my room. 

It is interesting what we choose to remember. The best part of our memories is telling our story and the amazing things God has done. 
Psalm 139:14
What do you choose to remember when you reflect?  Today choose to share a heart felt story, if you don’t blog just share in the comments. As always let me know what you think. 

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