Friday, June 8, 2012

Choosing to Put it All Together {5 Days to Better Communication}

We have arrived at day five and I know there is so much more on this topic I could write about. Communication is such a basic function of life and as such we forget the importance of those many little words.

I believe that when we draw closer to God’s standards for our words these bits can be applied in any conversation.

I wanted to take a moment to remind mothers and fathers that the natural order of things was set in place by God.

In Romans 13:1 we are told “There is not authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” This reassures me that I am in authority over my children. My children know that I am and I do not have to bully, demean, or force them into submission for that to be the case.

Nothing your child does or says when they are in a moment of emotional upheaval will change the order that God has put in place. You are in charge so choose to respond in that confidence.

Then, you can go in faith and love for your children to God in prayer and He will mediate to soften their hearts towards your wisdom, but if you undertake this challenge do not be surprised when He mediates your heart on their behalf also.

Fools give full vent to their rage,
but the wise bring calm in the end.
Proverbs 29:11

Are you communicating or just venting?

Ask yourself before your next conversation:
  • Is it true – is it a fact or reality – proven not an opinion
  • Is it helpful  - in this moment in time how will these words support and benefit my child?
  • Is it inspiring – in this moment how will these words motivate my child toward positive action or change
  • Is it Necessary – in this moment are these words needed to produce a positive outcome in my child’s life. Do I have to say this? Can the message be conveyed in another form or way?
  • Is it kind – in this moment in time are these words just “I told you so” or am I trying to bring life to my child?

Here are some guidelines to get you started having those great heart warming conversations: 

1. Model self-control in your conversations

2. Take time to plan your conversations with your children

3. Choose your words carefully

4. Conversation that matters are not urgent, pray and thinking about the message you want to convey

5. Keep lectures short and to the point, and allow your children the opportunity to process. An immediate response it usually an emotional one and can be overwhelming

6. When your child is upset or emotional, your main objective is to comfort and love him. Your conversation or lecture can wait until they are calm and ready to listen to you.

7. In sudden or unexpected situations tell your child that you need time to think and prayer, but will get back to them as soon as you can.

8. Just because you think something does not mean you should say it.

9. Make a habit of daily talking to your children, do not wait for an issue to arise to start a conversation. Jesus talked daily with his disciples, he told them stories, he build a relationship through his communication that allowed for the hard conversations.

Remember a rash word will be remembered and can bring death to a child. Am I thinking about what I say, am I choosing to bringing life or death?

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